Cuddle Time

Today was the first day in a long time that I cuddled with you while you had your afternoon nap. You've been such a great crib napper/sleeper that we've never wanted to risk jeopardizing that by bringing you into bed with us. Before we put you in your crib (at 10 weeks) I would bring you into bed with me for your morning nap. I loved it, being so close to you, watching your chest rise, smelling your hair, face, neck, anything I could get my nose near. I loved hearing your little squeaks, watching every stir and facial expression, you looked so peaceful, not a care in the world. I miss that... I miss your little warm body against mine, skin to skin. I miss the smell of your sweet breath, the sound of your soft whispers. I forgot how that felt until this afternoon. It was the same yet different. You seem to be three times the size you were when you last slept in Mommy's bed. You're long now, your legs got tangled in mine when I attempted to curl up with you. Your arm hung on my shoulder when before you couldn't reach it. There was so much sadness in the moment, I realized (something I've clearly been very aware of, but dreading at the same time) that every day the little baby in you grows bigger. You are my Clifford. Soon you won't fit in my arms, soon you won't want me to cuddle with you, soon you'll be begging for me to put you down. Until then, I will cherish every moment, crying or still, with you in my arms. I will rock you just a little bit longer, kiss you a little bit more often (as if that's even possible), hold you like there's no tomorrow and tell you, over and over again, just how much I love you and how important you are to me. I love you more than I ever imagined possible. XoXo.