Bed head and the Sick Boy

Luke has been running a fever for a full two days now (and two, about to be three! very loooong nights!). Poor baby, he's all stuffed up, coughing and just moping around the house. It's not uncommon for "I tired," or, "I not feel well," come out of his mouth these past couple days. He wakes in the night, drenched in sweat and cries that he, along with his bed, are hot. We pull away the covers and remove his pants, leaving him with a clean shirt. Then 20 minutes later he's crying again, this time his little body is shaking with chills. I hop into bed with him (because i know first hand that nothing can get you warm quickly like a warm body wrapped around you!) and snuggle him tightly. I call out to Trev because I want him to bring me my house robe (that's so cozy, warm and soft - the I, too, use when I have the worst of chills!), and I'm calling and calling and... nothing... the guy sleeps like a rock! Luke says, "get down and go get him, Mommy," in his pathetic little sicky voice.

Long story short, it went on like this all night. I'm so glad that I get to spend the last of my maternity leave taking care of my baby. Trev gets up with him, too, don't get me wrong, but unlike me, he can easily jump back into bed and knock out, I swear he had just slipped under the covers not 3 minutes before I was hollering for him!

All this while Logan lay snug as a bug in his bedroom, that boy, like his daddy, can sleep through it all!

I'd say that the hardest part of Luke being sick is most definitely that we don't allow him to give hugs or kisses to his brother. Yesterday, Luke and I had a conversation that went something like this:

"Mommy, ::coughcough:: I want to kiss ::cough:: Yogan."
"Sorry, baby, you're sick and you don't want to give Logan your sicky germs, right?"
"No, Mommy, ::coughcough:: I not sick ::cough::. I all better now ::coughcough::."
"Sorry Lukey-bear, you can kiss his leg, though."
Luke runs away, crying, "I don't want to kiss his yeg ::cough::, I want to kiss him."

Broke my heart :(

And my sweet little boy actually let me take a photo of him tonight, well ok, I'm lying a bit. I asked him if I could take a photo, pulled out my camera and as soon as he saw me attempting to shoot... this is what I got...


with a "I can't want to take a pict-sha." Haha, even the back of his bed-head hair is cute ;)

The smart mommy that I am (pats self on back), I tricked him by putting up a photo of Logan on the computer behind me and then asking, "who's this behind mommy?" and here is the resulting shot...

see? he loves him some little brother! and dang, it's getting hard to always have to come up with a plan b to get him to look towards the camera (forget about eye contact!), he's caught on to me that there really isn't a bug/butterfly/spider/snake on my lens!

and my little Logie, you ask, what has he been up to? being the cutest little two-month-old (reminds me I need to post a 2-month update, shoot!)EVER!

he's smiling and giggling ALL THE TIME now!

and ahhhh, the nerves! i'm leaving my babies and returning to work tomorrow... i'm excited, nervous and sad, all in one!

It's my last day...

of maternity leave. i'm full of mixed emotions... yesterday i was completely giddy about the thought of going back to work (yeah, let me document this now because i'm sure in just a few short months, i'll be eating my words!). i think about how i'll be returning to an office that is closer to my home, more organized and not so full of desperate workers trying to float in a sinking ship (haha, a bit dramatic... or not!), and mostly, i'll be leaving my babies in really good hands. i've thought, too, that part of the excitement of going back to work is because i know one of us HAS to work, so might as well be me in a profession that i've spent so many years in college trying to secure, and too, i think about the wonders it'll work for our marriage.

i think the hubbs will have an opportunity to miss and appreciate me more, now, not that he doesn't appreciate me enough but you know.. absence makes the heart grow fonder. i look forward to the routine of it all; getting up every morning to start the day with somewhere to be. i don't know, call me crazy, i'm very optimistic that this will be a great next chapter in our life!

and then the guilt sets in.. of not only leaving my boys but being happy about returning to work! ok, i'm not happy about leaving my family, only embracing the fact that i must return to work. yeah, that's it! i'm so sad to miss out on 8.5 - 9 hours of their day, yet i'm excited to miss them (yes, call me crazy!). i'm excited about walking through the door every night, after a long (usually hard) day of work, and my baby boy, Luke, jumping in my arms, greeting me with hugs and kisses while telling me how much he loves me... i'm excited to hold my baby, Logan, and shower him with tons of kisses and look at him as if it's been forever since i've laid eyes on him... i'm excited to hug and kiss my husband, and tell him how much i've missed him and the kids, and then get to hear all that i've missed that day. i look forward to dinner time at the table, bath time with my boys and then somewhere in all of this, i'll have a small opportunity to document this time in our lives with photos.

i've painted the picture and this is how it will be... every single day! haha!

on a side note, i'm not anywhere near complete with all the projects i wanted to finish prior to returning to work. i'm completely backed up on blogging, editing and even uploading images from my memory card! lets not talk about the piles i haven't gone through, the baby books i haven't updated or the U2 photos from months and months ago that i've promised a friend but have yet to deliver on! tell me again, why do we need to sleep?!

we Baptized Logan this past weekend, on Saturday (at 2 months old - for me to remember) and i just now am uploading the images to my computer! i haven't culled through them yet but grabbed this one quickly to share (i can hear Logan waking now so need to hurry!).


i'll be back by the end of the weekend with a full post to share :) and yeah, side note, Logan is an EXCELLENT sleeper! he sleeps a good 7-8 hrs straight every night. He goes down about 10pm and wakes in between 5-6am, sometimes even 7! Luke's been sick so the past couple nights have be rough but usually, he's been a great sleeper as well. i can only pray it continues ♥

Lucas loves his baby brother ♥

it's amazing to see how much Lucas loves his baby brother already. i just told the hubbs the other day, "i wonder where he learned to love him so much?" Luke is constantly asking, "Where's Yogan?" if Logan isn't in the room with us. When Logan wakes up and Luke sees him for the first time, Luke says (with such yearning in his voice), "I want to pet Yogan," or, "I want to give Yogan a kiss." I lean Logan down within Luke's reach, Luke takes a big sniff of Logan's head, while touching his head ever so gently, gives him a closed-eye kiss, and then softly says, "I yuv you, Yogan."

It's the SWEETEST thing and melts my heart over and over ♥

haha, Logan looks a little scared in this one...


but nope...



i love how Luke gets so excited to be around his brother that he kind of clenches up, you can see it in his mouth. ♥ it!

To be completely honest...

i just didn't think it was possible to love him this much! i mean, how could i, right?! i already had Luke taking up soooo much of my heart, there was just no way that i could've ever loved another child the same. and you know what, in just two short months i've come to realize that of course i don't love him the same, very much different, already, in fact, but i just love him so much that words cannot even begin to describe! and it's a different feeling from the way i love Luke, i often consider if i love him comparable to the way i loved Luke when Luke was just two months old... or if I love him the way i love Luke now, at 2.5 years... and then i start bashing my head into the wall because why on earth am i spending so much time trying to understand this?!

it's because every time i look into my baby's eyes, touch his skin, breathe in his smell, feel his heartbeat and watch his chest rise and fall with each breath... i realize that God has already blessed me so much in this life and i feel so much gratitude. i can almost not contain myself!

it's late. i'm tired. this probably makes no sense at all. i just can't stop thinking about how surprised i am for this love i have for my newest baby. silly.

The Countdown Begins! One more week...

that I get to enjoy my boys 24/7. i head back to work next week, Thursday, March 1st to be exact. it's a little bittersweet. of course i'm saddened that i'll be away from my boys everyday, all day long, but on the other hand, i'm kind of excited to get back into a routine, to have adult conversation with colleagues and to get back to being a social worker in the community :)

i feel like i have a lot to accomplish until then (finish editing two photography sessions, edit photos from a recent trip to Santa Barbara, work on updating the boys' baby books, finish going through "piles" at home.... ah, who am I kidding, i have too many "tasks" to list that i just need to get started already!). i still have to update Logan's 2-month status, he has a well-baby check-up tomorrow so I'll be back in the next few days with an update and photos :)

until then, here's one from our trip to Santa Barbara :)

* we rented this family bike and had such a GREAT time riding around Santa Barbara (ok, up and down the street because we were exhausted from pedaling, haha).

Lucas van Gogh

my baby is going to be the next van Gogh.. you just wait and see ;) we've been trying to have more play/activity time for Luke to get him away from the t.v. i can tell you that as long as "Daddy's" involved, Luke can pretty much careless what he's doing, he's a complete Daddy's boy lately (poor hubbs can't even go to the restroom in peace without Luke having a meltdown!). And me, patient mommy that i am, i just tell Luke to go to his room if he's going to cry, which usually results in him stopping :) no wonder he's not my shadow, right?! haha, i'm sure a lot has to do with Logan being attached to me every waking moment (which is, too, a result of poor hubs not even getting a moment away from Luke... it's a vicious cycle!).

I have to say, though, it absolutely melts my heart to hear Trev blessing Luke (in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...) and saying prayers with him every night, usually at the time I'm nursing Logan for his last feeding of the night. I love witnessing the mutual love shared between them two ♥

So, in an attempt to give the hubbs a break every now and then, and spend some quality time with my baby boy, I try to sneak in activities that I can engage Luke in... like painting :) I usually don't pull the camera out during activities, but wanted to document him in all his cuteness... you know, the beginning of the next van Gogh... these photos will be worth MILLIONS in a few years ;)



haha, isn't it quite obvious that he doesn't really like to get messy? he kept asking me to clean his hands.. but i wouldn't do it, reassuring him that it was ok to be a little messy while painting :)

and then he started getting into it ♥




i had to rotate the paper so he eventually used all four sides... check out the paint in his hair, haha, the rebel! then it was time for a bubble bath, his favorite! i still love giving him baths all the time, something that i'm sure i'll miss once he gets old enough to refuse the help (it already makes me sad to even consider this a possibility reality!).

and this next one is a bonus for me, Trev and I absolutely LOVE his awesome bedhead ♥

Trev in the background, "Babe, don't get me in the frame!" and me, "no worries, you'll be blurred beyond recognition!" haha, and then i go and tell the world that he's in the background - like it's not that obvious! ;) this was shot at f/1.2 with my 50mm lens.

The BEST Valentine's Day EVER!

and i didn't even get any gifts! well... not the wrapped kind...


ok, this one just melts my heart! trev usually spends most the day wrapped around Luke's little finger, so to catch these two together ♥

and here's a close up so you can see my baby's juicy, pouty little (ok, big!) lips! and his chin... he has my chin :) i have to wear it proudly since this may in fact be the only resemblance of me that i can claim (at this point, anyway).



these were taken after lunch, we went to our new favorite restaurant, Stacked, for the juiciest burger ever! Since we cut down Luke's naps, from 2 to 1, a couple months ago, it's been super easy putting him down by 2pm (he sleeps about 3 hours). he loves his teddy bear ♥

i was just telling the hubbs that i have a feeling i'm going to be saying this, "this is the BEST _________ EVER!" a lot this year ♥

Happy Vday... I'm a bad wife!

Seriously, if I could be fired... I would! No gift, no card, no nothing for the hubby! Maybe I'll have him pick a room, any room, that he'd like cleaned for Valentine's Day, haha, I wish I were joking! But seriously, not even a card, Amber?! I keep telling myself that I'm just not good with cards, well, you know what they say... Say it enough and you'll start to believe it! I hate shopping (even if I don't say it, it's just true, no way around it!) and I've been so consumed with trying to get things (the boys, doctor's appointments, dental appointments, the house, my blogs, my business, etc.) in order before going back to work that I haven't given Vday a thought. Well, my only saving grace will be that hubbs has done (or not done, in this case), the same! Can you even believe that I'm actually wishing for a no-gift Vday?! Oh how priorities have changed... and how guilt works it's way in ;)

On another note, my baby, Logan, is 8-weeks old today... Wah! It goes by so fast, too fast! I have some photos to edit and share but until I get a good nights rest, that's not going to happen :( So until then, here's one that I've already shared, but now it has a festive little message, teehee ♥

Logan's 7-week update

Logan turned 7-weeks young on Tuesday. For his birthday, my hubby took him to the pediatrician for his HepB vaccination, some birthday gift, right?! The hubbs said that he did great, a little cry at the injection and that was it! Maybe we'll get lucky with him like we did with Luke, who never cried with shots or blood draws!

At 7-weeks Logan weighs 13 lbs, 5 ounces and is 23" tall (96% and 76%, respectively). The doctor is anticipating another 6'1" boy!

Logan eats, on average, every 3 hours and sleeps very well at night, 6 hrs then wakes to eat, then sleeps another 3-4 hrs. Last night was special, he slept 8.5 hrs straight!! He woke at 1:30 am, ate, I swaddled him and put him back down to bed with a pacifier (yep, he takes one of those - very different from his brother already!), awake, and he was asleep within five minutes.. how'd I get so lucky?! We've been putting him down sleepy but awake for at least a week now and he's fallen asleep every time!

I, on the other hand, am not usually able to get back to bed during the middle of the night. Tonight/this morning, after 30 minutes of lying wide awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to my hubby breathe heavily (which is usually how it goes every night!)... I decided to edit a few photos I took yesterday and share them. I can't tell you how much I love his lips and adorable little face! I'm so glad that I'm able to document these days because my memory is so bad, I'd surely forget them soon enough!

Side note: I ordered a few enlargements from his newborn session (to frame and hang over his crib)... I cried when I unwrapped the images from my print lab, seeing my baby boys precious face, the way I see it now, preserved for me to enjoy every time I walk into his nursery just created an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my baby boy (his life, his health, all the joy he brings to us each and every day, etc. - I could go on and on, lol), that brought tears to my eyes. It's quite silly, of course, but my bad memory really makes me appreciate photos even more than the average person, I can only imagine. I'll share a photo of his nursery as soon as I have the frames up.

For now, here are some recent shots of my baby boy ♥


*I take full credit for his adorable little butt chin ♥

His eyelashes finally grew in at about 5 weeks. They're getting so long so fast!




All photos were taken with my macro lens (100mm f/2.8L) at f/2.8 with an ISO of 6400 and a shutter speed as slow as 1/60 (I told you I live in a cave!).

Logan fell asleep in my arms and instead of putting him in his crib like I would normally do, I laid him on my bed and just watched him sleep for soooo long! While asleep, he pulled him arm up and wriggled it out of the sleep sack; he looked so cute with his hand at his chin I jumped up and grabbed my camera to capture it! I wanted to focus on him, his cute little features (and NOT my messy room) so I switched out my 50mm lens with the macro... and I'm so glad I did ♥

Valentine's Day Photos

It's such a challenge shooting my own children, I'm running out of ways I can bribe Luke... Candy/treats don't work because he's quick to shove them in his mouth and then the candy/treat ends up center of attention in the shot! Forget bribing with a prize (what we call a special/just because toy) because then it ends up in the shot... delayed gratification ("I'll take you to get ice cream after," "If you take a picture with your brother, I'll give you a toy...") doesn't work because he's then fixated on the bribe and will constantly repeat, "I want ice cream, I want ice cream," over and over until I'm dying inside! So, what works for us now is to play a game with him, "Luke, can you see the bug on my camera?" And of course, this only works for 30 seconds. Needless to say, taking photos of my toddler isn't exactly what I would call easy OR fun these days! I'd now much rather spend my time capturing him as he is, with exception of special holiday setups like this, you won't be seeing many posed shots of my camera-shy toddler around here!

I keep reminding myself that all I need is one decent photo, then I can leave the poor boy alone! I'm quite proud of myself that I actually stayed true to my goal of one decent shot today...


and, surprisingly, he agreed to take a photo with his brother (it came at the price of quite a few conversation heart candies, which we let him eat before, during and after this shot ♥ *I couldn't decide if I liked it better in b&w, well ok, I like HIM better in b&w but the background, not so much. So I'm including it anyway ;)


too bad Logan can't be coaxed yet ;) but I did manage to get a somewhat decent shot of Logan (I was already tired, hot and sweaty by this point, itching to be done with it all).


I waited and waited for one of his million dollar smiles (which are pretty frequent these days) but he wasn't having it, it was past his nap time and he was due to eat... bad combo :(

and even though this is what I get when I ask Luke to smile...


I'll still continue to do it, it's as natural as breathing, unfortunately, haha.

and just for comparison's sake, here's a photo of Luke 12-months ago, his Valentine's session in February 2011.


What a difference a year makes, right?! And look at that awesome hair, I think Logan is going to be very jealous of Luke's locks at some point, hehe.

A Day at the Beach

in JANUARY!!! Oh the joys of living in SoCal... We hit the beach a couple weeks ago, I believe it was in the high 80's this day (how crazy is that?!). The water was cold but my baby boy loved it, still! We regret not taking him more in the summer, I believe we took him once (one time only!) and he wasn't a huge fan of the water so we really had no incentive to go back. This time, a good friend invites us to go with her and her daughter (the same age as Luke) so we said, sure, why not. Turns out, Luke absolutely LOVED the water. See for yourself.


now this is what i call frolicking ♥


and this may be my favorite photo to date! i love how freely Luke is running, so safe and secure ♥


and just for fun, here's the before photo.


and ok, i changed my mind.. this is my favorite :)


and this one...


and this one...


oh, you get the idea, i just love all of these!


My baby had SO much fun!

I still can't get over how much fun being a mother is... I could've never imagined how much joy there would be in watching a little one, MY little one, grow!! Every smile, everyday, is just a reminder of our many blessings ♥ and I so look forward to the many years ahead, even more so with our growing family ♥

Luke gets a haircut...

and yes, we still celebrate each one! well, maybe celebrate isn't the right word... more like mourn :*(

We absolutely LOVE his long hair, but when it hangs, covering his eyes 24/7, it gets to be too much and it's time to go in for a trim... Of course they always take too much, I think I just have issues with letting go!

This is the "before" photo, his lovely hair in all it's long glory :)

Luke does this thing where, if asked, "Luke, how long is your hair?" He shakes his head forward and down a little, and while looking up at his bangs covering his eyes he says, "it's this long.." it's the cutest thing! I told hubbs that we should've videotaped it... but yeah, that didn't happen. It's ok, it'll be long again in a month, maybe he'll still do it for us :)

So, because it's such an event to take him in to get his haircut (thank God he doesn't cry anymore, but he still isn't a fan...).

It doesn't take long before the lollipops come out ;)

what's she doing up there?!

ummm, you can clip the bunny's hair, sure, no problem...

but uh uh, stay away from mine!

you missed a spot (lol)

I have to say that I do love how she worked with him, providing demonstrations prior to each step :)

and sometime later...


Mommy's having haircut remorse (as usual!)... but i know it'll grow back soon enough ;) And btw - I'm going to stop anticipating what my next post is going to be about... seeing as I don't keep my word ;)

Enjoy the rest of the week, hopefully I'll be back soon!

xxoo

For Logan's 6-week Birthday...

he got to sleep in his big boy bed ♥ we moved him out of our bedroom, out of his bassinet, into his crib. he did amazingly well! he let me sleep 4 hrs straight, then 3.5 hrs straight (between feedings).
i took these this morning and was lucky enough to finally catch his smiles :) he's been smiling for a couple weeks now and i'm usually too slow at grabbing and setting up the camera to capture it on film.

i absolutely LOVE this next expression, this is totally him right now, always looking up at mommy with this adorable expression on his face as if saying, "ooooohhh." i'm going to try and capture more of these everyday expressions, the ones that when i close my eyes and see my babies' faces, i picture..


and just for documentation's sake, here's an animated clip of the everyday expressions of Luke that we so love!



this little boy cracks us up with his silliness ♥

Logan had a doctor's appointment this morning, so I was going to have stats to update, but that didn't happen as I had a really bad stomach flu (vomiting, headache, fever, FUN!). I can tell you, though, that he's a tank! He's so heavy, he must weigh 12 lbs by now! He's such a good boy and I'm really starting to feel that I know what every little cry means (gassy, sleepy, hungry, over stimulated, etc..). I love this closeness we have, one of the luxury of breast feeding, for sure!

I love giving him baths (he loves them, too!) and giving him hugs and kisses. He sleeps a lot, still, probably only awake a total of a few hours a day.

I'll update with stats (and more photos) next week after he has his doctor's visit (second dose of Hep B vaccination).

Here's another animated clip I put together of Logan, more of his smiling. I promise I'll *try* not to get too out of control with these animations, I'm trying to decide if it's better to include individual photos or put them together in one of these clips... any thoughts?

Checkout picasion.com if you'd like to make your own animated clip.



love that last shot, haha!