Ugh! Can't sleep...

Visions of baby albums, shopping cart covers, external flashes, Easter baskets and lenses running through my head. I need to get a life. A hobby. Something that doesn't involve 24 hrs of eating, breathing, sleeping my son! Who was I just 6 short months ago?! Seemed like a lifetime ago, I can see how easy it is to get lost in laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping and babies! For now i'll just enjoy, bask rather, in the delightfulness (sometimes insomnia driven delightfulness) of getting to spend 24/7 with my boy. Soon I will return to the working-out-of-the-home field and will be a sort of miserable for having to divide myself further. Right now I enjoy that all divisions include my son, I won't be able to say that for much longer :(

Going back to work will bring all sorts of new challenges and I'm sure i'll be looking back on nights like these, wishing I could be working on another baby-related project.

and... because posts are always better with a few pictures.. i'll leave you with these, the number one reason i have a hard time falling asleep at night...

I'm going back to work... bittersweet :/

i got "the" call yesterday. i still don't have details, all i know is i'll be working for public child welfare in LA county. yipppeeee... and NOT! this is the job i've been waiting for, it's a long story and though it should've been a guaranteed job, it wasn't. it was iffy that i'd actually get "the" call, and when i got it, i was soo excited. i was literally on a high for about an hour... and then it hit me, i have to leave my baby to go to work.

thankfully i've had 5 glorious months of being home with my baby boy. thankfully i'll be dropping him off with my mom 2 days a week and mil 3 days a week. thankfully they love him *almost* as much as i do and will take very good, great even, care of him in my absence. thankfully i have a job, when so many in the country are in greater need and less fortunate. thankfully i've had 5 glorious months of being home with my baby boy. yeah i said that already, i keep saying it so maybe i'll start to really believe it and move towards a more positive attitude and appreciation for a much-needed second income.

God continues to bless me everyday and i pray that's enough to get me through leaving my baby boy.

blessings to all of you!

Luke is 5 months!

for a whole week already! i've been so busy. doing lots of little things, can't even list everything exactly. i'm so tired but feel that so much still has to be done before i go back to work (side note: woot woot, I got a job! the job i've been wanting. bittersweet i tell ya!). i'm seriously already thinking about luke's first birthday (and no! i'm not one of those that has to make a huge spectacle of first birthday's.. or maybe now i am?!).

back on subject. luke is 5 months old already!!! i can't even believe it. he's such a big boy that i can hardly even remember when he fit to snugly in my arms, i mean, he was even to small to fill up all the space. those days are long gone and he's not even half a year old yet :(

this is what he's been up to lately:

- 19 lbs 10 oz, 27" long

- still sleeps 10 hrs/night. he's thrown a couple wrenches in, once waking at midnight to eat, and a couple days of waking at 6am and 7am to eat (normally wakes at 7:45am). not complaining.

- rolled from back to tummy at 1 week shy of 5 months and 2 days later rolled from tummy to back.

- started the army scoot a few days shy of 5 months.

- sat unassisted for 30+ seconds on his first attempt at 5mos 2days, he can now sit alone for mins at a time.

- tolerates tummy time a little bit more, still not crazy about it though.

- fave toys are sophie, mr. winkel, mr. tummytime snail, crinkly teething book, and crinkly bug teether/vibrator; basically anything with a mirror on it or that he can shove in his mouth.

- still naps faithfully with the GloSeaHorse; sometimes stretches his usual 1 hr naps to 2-3 hrs.

- LOVES loves loves to play with daddy. daddy can get him to smile and laugh in .2 seconds!

- eagerly watches mommy and daddy eat (so close to being ready for solids).

- growing out of his infant carrier :(

and here are some pics of him at or around the 5 month mark... isn't he just so big already ::sniff sniff::

show mommy one last time how you do the army scoot

huh?! who me?

mom! i'm so sick of taking these pics! are we done yet?!

wow! this sitting up thing is kind of fun...

am i in trouble or something?!

yes i am!

purty please mommy?

what now?! put the camera away already, geesh!

i'm almost there!

my new favorite toy, mr. tummytime snail.

Little Buzz of the iPhone...

i LOVE it! it means i got an email :) after grad school i went through some serious email-depression. while in school my phone was always buzzing... like 20+ times a day. i felt like i was in high school all over again; always information to be shared, the comings and goings of everyday life, every second just seemed so important and so share-worthy. then i graduated... and it was quiet. no more buzzing. it was just me and my phone, no emails, no phone calls. everyone was out trying to find a job while i was home, alone, on bed rest. sad. isolating. depressing.

maybe that's why i love baby-related projects these days, because it involves email communication... and i just LOVE that buzz! or, maybe i'm looking for any excuse to find a new project, lol. either way. i love the little buzz!