4 months old today!

and what does Luke get for a birthday present?! SHOTS! his 4-month shots! what a mean mommy i am, scheduling his appointment on his birthday, bah humbug! I'll be taking some pics later tonight and will update later. Oh, his stats are - 17 lbs, 6 oz., 25" long. He's in the 91st percentile for his weight, yeah, my boy loves him some milk :)

i have a gripe regarding the visit with his pediatrician, i'll have to save that for another post. sometimes ignorance is bliss and i sit here and wonder why i just can't enjoy the bliss...

Here are some pics taken today.

I'm obsessed with upcloseandpersonal shots, so much so that I forget to take the body shots :/





And, here's what you've been doing at 4 months:

About a week shy of your 4-month birthday you really started sucking your thumb regularly. It's so cute now but I'm sure one day I'll hate it.



You've also started grabbing and holding onto objects, and putting them in your mouth. One of your favorite toys is Sophie.






You cry and still say maaaaamaaa or moooooom, and it's still hilarious!

You take regular naps (in your crib) of 40 mins - 1 hr after 1-1.5 hrs of wakefulness. I put you down with your GloSeaHorse and 7 x's out of 10, you put yourself to sleep. The other 3 times Mommy comes in to rock you if you start crying (really crying, not fussing).



You've recently been sleeping 10-11 hours every night (in your crib), from about 9:30pm - 7:30/8:30am. Here's what Mommy sees first thing in the morning :) And when Mommy moves the camera from in front of her face, you greet her with the biggest smile and bashful squirm.




You love when Daddy gets home. It's so sweet, you smile and talk to him so much more than you do to me, it's like you're telling him all about your day.

Textbook Baby

You are my textbook baby Luke. This is day 2 where you've been putting yourself to sleep. You were always on an EASY (Eat - Activity - Sleep - Youtime) schedule, I read about this in the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. I didn't encourage this schedule, this is what you did naturally. Prior to 2 days ago we would rock you to sleep once we saw signs of tiredness (slow movements, yawning, glossy eyes, etc.). We'd have to make sure to catch it almost right away, if we waited to long you'd be too fussy to go down without a fight.

Tomorrow you'll be 4 months old. The time that people talk about letting their babies CIO (cry it out). I'm not so much a fan so I've been dreading the 4-month mark. I decided to see what happens if I let you put yourself to sleep. You're pretty much on a schedule so nap times are routine now (thank you Lukey!). So, instead of rocking you to sleep like I usually do, I decided to put you in your crib, sleepy but awake, with your GloSeahorse. You talked and stared at the seahorse for the duration of the music and glo (5 minutes) and then promptly fell asleep after it shut off. This is the 4th nap that I tried it and it's been successful. Keep up the good work my baby boy :)

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas my beautiful baby boy (my gift from God). We had a fun time last night celebrating with family at Grandma Berdie's house. In attendance, GG, Papa, G'ma Berdie, Auntie April & her family, Uncle Chris, Uncle Daniel, Alex & his family, and Tricia and her kids. We stayed for a few hours until you got so tired and were ready for bed. It was quite loud there, which bothered you a little. The adults did a white elephant gift exchange for the first time this year, it was a lot of fun to see everyone come together in joy. Here are a few pictures from last night.

This was the original outfit we put on you, you looked super cute as one of Santa's reindeers :)





and then promptly changed you into this one so you'd be more comfortable (after minutes of you screaming in protest in the reindeer outfit).

Christmas eve

We just celebrated your first Christmas (celebration) with Auntie Mere, Unlce Gary, and Big Uncle G. You got a lot of cool gifts but more importantly, got to spend time with those who love and adore you. You are so loved my little boy, what a blessing. It's 7 in the morning and you're still sleeping (after 9 hours), I guess you're pooped after all the fun you had. Here are some pictures of you last night, my already big boy.

My Babies

You know you aren't my first child? My only living child, yes, but not my first. God blessed me with three, you my third. I buried my first two babies, easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have foggy memories, maybe that's a good thing, my subconscious protecting my heart because the pain is just too much. So when I thank God for you every day, I really thank Him because I know what loss is, and for the 9 months that you grew inside me I was afraid, afraid you wouldn't be born alive. It wasn't until I heard your first cry that I was able to really breathe, and sometimes I look at you and mourn the loss of my other two children... but still, I thank God for you every day and I appreciate you. It's especially hard when I think of the possibilities, of what could have been. I wonder how old they'd be, if we'd even be here in this same place, mentally, physically, emotionally. I realize everything would be different. Would you, my sweet baby boy, even be here, be you?! Most of all, I wonder if the sadness will ever go away, if the pain will ever get easier. Until I find an answer, if I ever do, I have you baby boy, to love, hold, and thank God for everyday.

Today

I hope I never take for granted the time I get to spend with you. You don't belong to me, I am only your guardian here on earth and pray that I always keep in mind that the time He gives us together is a gift, one that I cherish and am thankful for everyday.

I love you baby boy, more than my heart can contain. I held you in my arms as you slept tonight. I held you and prayed and thanked God for today.

XoXo

The Beginning...

of my blog! i wanted a place where I could be me. for now it's private, i mean, who'd want to read or follow it anyway right?! i basically wanted a journal and after many a journal lay around the house, one or two entries in each, i've decided to finally face reality where handwriting is no longer. Not in a world of computers and speed typing, where i can "write" down everything i want to say, and more, in less than a quarter of the time it'd take me to write down a thought in a paragraph.

this blog is for my son, my family. i have a horrible memory and am afraid that i will forget all the little things that make me so happy in this life, today. Lucas is already 3 months old and how fast i already seem to be forgetting, it's a tragedy. i'm convinced my mom dropped me on my head as a child, or something traumatic happened to me that i've buried deep within, something so bad that i can't even recall the basic of memories.

so, here i am... poor grammar and all, (after all, English was not my major in college, oh and lets not enough discuss math here ;) in private... for now.