To be completely honest...

i just didn't think it was possible to love him this much! i mean, how could i, right?! i already had Luke taking up soooo much of my heart, there was just no way that i could've ever loved another child the same. and you know what, in just two short months i've come to realize that of course i don't love him the same, very much different, already, in fact, but i just love him so much that words cannot even begin to describe! and it's a different feeling from the way i love Luke, i often consider if i love him comparable to the way i loved Luke when Luke was just two months old... or if I love him the way i love Luke now, at 2.5 years... and then i start bashing my head into the wall because why on earth am i spending so much time trying to understand this?!

it's because every time i look into my baby's eyes, touch his skin, breathe in his smell, feel his heartbeat and watch his chest rise and fall with each breath... i realize that God has already blessed me so much in this life and i feel so much gratitude. i can almost not contain myself!

it's late. i'm tired. this probably makes no sense at all. i just can't stop thinking about how surprised i am for this love i have for my newest baby. silly.