i could vomit

a normal symptom after i've detained.

no matter how much i love my job, removing children from their parents custody will never get any easier :( the actual process and act of telling the parents that the child(ren) are being detained, however, has gotten a lot easier (thank God!). i've finally accepted that with each detention (for the most part, let's not talk about those political, i-don't-agree-with-my-supervisor-and-or-upper-adminstration, decisions - luckily that hasn't happened here in this office (YET!)) there's a clear child safety concern that validates what i'm doing, so an understanding of that, in itself, it what has helped to ease the process of me explaining this part to parents. not like i'm unsympathetic, of course, i could cry right along with the parents (which is odd, child abuse is disgusting to me yet i never seem to get angry with the parent(s), i just feel really bad for them when they plead for a different outcome - maybe this will change in time, too, hmmmm).

physically and emotionally removing the children... nope, that still hurts... a TON!

even worse... having to separate the children and place in different foster homes. talk about vomit!

i'm thinking the Department would do good if they had a therapist on staff, available for immediate debrief upon every detention. i think this might help. until then, i'll continue to question my career choice after every detention :(

and still, no matter how much abuse these children take, most of the children always, ALWAYS plead for their parents... and here my kid can go an entire day, morning to night, without seeing me around and not even ASK for me! ha - not the same, i know, but ouch, that hurts. especially on a night like tonight ;)